Conquering Jude Read online

  “Two, Mistress.” He clenched his fists against the restraints holding him and pressed his forehead to the leather as his cock hardened in a rush. The next two smacks fell in quickly, one to each side of his ass. Even through the pain of the resulting blows and his building desire, he was aware she never came close to the scaring on his right hip.

  “If you don’t count, slave, they don’t count.” Her reprisal had him flinching and moaning. He had to remember, not get lost in the pain and pleasure the punishment was giving him.

  “Yes, Mistress.” His chest heaved against the leather as each stroke of the paddle stroked not only the fire in his ass higher but also the one in his groin. As the next stroke fell, he automatically counted off but also rubbed his hips, his cock against the bench - hard.

  “You wouldn’t be trying to get off would you, slave?” Her voice was amused but her hand was not when she grabbed him by his hair to lift his head. His eyes met her intensely dark eyes, and the world as he knew it imploded. He found what he needed in her eyes, and it scared the living hell out of him even as it titillated his senses.

  “No, Mistress!” His gasp was loud as she brought the paddle down once more while still holding his hair. Her added roughness sent his body into overdrive and he forgot to count off. A low tortured moan filled the room as he flooded his briefs with hot, sticky seed. His entire body stiffened as the heat from his abused ass was forgotten and sharp pleasure took over. He cursed and panted as his orgasm finally receded.

  But even as the unexpected pleasure ebbed away, horror replaced it. No fucking way! I didn’t just come because she paddled my ass! I’m not that fucked up! Not that desperate! He started to struggle against the cuffs restraining his wrists. In desperation, he tried to use his legs to lift the bench only to realize it was bolted to the floor. Growls of fear and frustration escaped him. “Let me go!”

  Through it all, Olivia stayed with him, her voice soothing but he didn’t comprehend her words. His need for freedom, to run from what just had happened was now greater than his goal of seducing Olivia. I have to get out of here! I let a known Domme tie me up and spank me until I came! It’s not normal, I’m a freak now. Everything was careening wildly out of control. “Hershey’s, Hershey’s, dammit!” He continued to struggle against his bonds. His voice was now a plea, but he didn’t care. “You have to let me go…it’s in the rules.”

  “Shh, yes, it is.” She placed a firm hand at the back of his neck between his shoulder blades. “The punishment is over - but until you calm down, I’m not releasing you.”

  He cursed at her and struggled against not only the situation but his response to it. “Fucking bitch…let me go!” He jerked hard on the restraints, his legs lashing out trying to strike her. He wasn’t even aware of when the skin on his wrists broke open and began to bleed, or when Olivia in desperation used her insubstantial weight to press him down.

  * * * *

  Straddling his hips, Olivia covered the thrashing sub, glad she’d bound him tightly. By using leverage and weight she could keep him from hurting himself. Logically she knew at this point all she could do was wait for him to calm down. Eventually he’d wear himself down, then she could clean up his wrists and send him on his way. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve ever had a sub ‘safe word’ on me. He’s got such potential as a submissive. I just wish he wasn’t in such denial.

  “Calm down, Jude.” Using her thighs to keep her seat, she rubbed her hands over his naked back. Eventually he quit bucking under her. Keeping up the gentle motions, she held her breath as his trembling finally slowed. He was coming back out of his panic.

  “Now, are you calm enough for me to release you, pet?” She kept her voice soft but firm. She was no fool. Standing at six foot four and nearly a head taller and a hundred pounds heavier, Olivia wasn’t about to let a man with his past loose while he was still pissed off about how his body reacted to her punishment.

  “Let me up!” His voice was low.

  She slowly stood, already missing the heat of his body between her thighs. “I will in just a moment. But before I do, we’re going to discuss a couple things because I have a feeling you’re going to storm out of here like your ass is on fire. Since I’m not physically strong enough to hold you down, I’m not above using the bonds to do the holding for me.”

  He lifted his head and glared at her. “Fine. Say what you need to say, then, Get. Me. The. Fuck. Out. Of. These Bonds!”

  She cocked a hand on a hip. “You’re truly fortunate you’re not mine yet, pet, or you’d just have earned yourself the mother of all punishments.”

  He snarled at her.

  “As if that’s going to scare me.” She moved closer to him. She even went as far as to lift his head to stare into his pissed-off eyes. “You safe-worded. Why?”

  He opened his mouth and she held up a hand to stop him. Her heartbeat sped up. “Before you think about lying to me, realize without honesty there can be nothing between us. So I ask you again, why did you safe word on me?”

  “Because I decided I didn’t like it!” He snapped.

  She stilled, hating the cold, lifeless feeling which was once more sneaking up on her. It was the same feeling she’d felt before she’d met him and knew she’d just set herself up once more. If there is anything I hate more than being disappointed it’s being lied to.

  “Fine, you didn’t like it.” She reached for his bounds but stilled when she saw the thin trickle of blood from where he’d broken open each wrist. “Will you allow me to clean your wounds?”

  He glared at her. “I’d rather not.”

  His words cut her to the core, but she refused to let it show. “I figured as much. Perhaps it is a good thing you came here this evening, Jude. It is better I learn now that we won’t suit than later when I’m emotionally invested in a man who can’t accept the fact not only is he a submissive…”

  He snapped at her. “I’m not submissive. I only agreed to this because I wanted in your pants.”

  She drew in a sharp breath as pain exploded in the vicinity of her heart. How had he gotten so close to her so quickly? No, she decided, it’s better if I call it off now before I end up even more hurt and alone.

  “Go.” She released his bonds quickly before turning and striding towards the door. She didn’t pause before crossing the threshold. Her only goal was to make to her office. Once there she quietly shut the door behind her. Leaning against it she closed her eyes. “Well that didn’t go as planned.”

  Blinking her eyes against the burning tears, she reached for the phone. “Carlos, it’s Olivia. Mr. Larson will be heading for the front door momentarily. Please see to his wrists before allowing him to leave. The last thing I need is him suing me.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “And one more thing. From this moment on, Jude Larson is no longer welcome at Olivia’s. Tell him if his business needs to contact me, phone or email will suffice. I don’t want him in my club.” She slowly hung up the phone - her spirit heavy.

  Chapter Two

  Jerking awake with a start, Jude sat up. The dark cotton sheet pooled around his hips as his ragged breathing filled the room. The recurring nightmare he’d had since his accident in the Rangers hadn’t plagued him for awhile, but it was known to recur when he was under undue stress. Raking his fingers through his hair, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed then tried to calm down. The sounds of gunfire and smoke combined with the searing heat of the explosion that had tossed him a hundred yards like a rag doll were hard to shake from his PTSD’ed brain.

  “God dammit!” His rough curse was hoarse. Flicking on the lamp next to his king-sized bed, he reached for his ever present bottle of sleeping pills. Rolling the bottle between his shaking fingers, he debated on whether to take any more. Maybe that’s what triggered the damn nightmare. He threw the bottle across the room in a fit of pique. Glancing at the clock on his bedside stand, he growled. The luminous numbers read five thirty-eight. Fuck, I might as well get up. It’s not like I�
��m gonna get any more sleep.

  Stumbling into the bathroom, he tried to shake the cold chills left over from his dream. Wrenching on the handles of the shower, he was taken back at the white bandages around his wrists. Staring at them, confusion swamped him. What the fuck? I don’t remember…

  The memories came flooding back. His arrival at the club, his submission to Olivia and the resulting spanking that had him coming like an untried youth. The memory of helpless pleasure he had no control over had his cock hardening and lengthening until it almost reached his naval. The head pushed past the top of his drawstring bottoms. Fat dollops of pre-cum glistened along the slit. He was hard, ready, as if he’d endured hours of foreplay.

  Shucking the bottoms, he kicked them towards the hamper. “Fuck!” Ripping the white bandages off, he tossed them in the trash. Stepping under the hot spray, he let it pound on his body, hissing when it stung the wounds on his wrists. His cock throbbed in reaction. Helpless to stop himself, he wrapped his hand around the base and squeezed hard. Not only do I have fucked up dreams, I get off on fucking pain, now. God dammit, maybe that accident fucked up more than my body. Thanks a-fucking-lot, Uncle Sugar.

  Standing under the pounding spray, he was helpless against the flood of memories that washed over him. The memories of the first time he’d given control over to her had his breath hissing in sharply. Fuck, I didn’t know surrendering could be so goddamn arousing. The remembered feel of the blindfold she’d used on him made his jaw clench. The last thing I expected was to be blindfolded and driven out of my mind. His hand tightened around his cock and he jerked involuntarily into his own hand. Just like I did that night in my truck. Fuck I didn’t know I could be that hard, that desperate. I had to come - I couldn’t even wait until I made it home to jack off.

  A tortured groan filled the shower stall, barely audible over the sound of the pounding water. The feel of her hands against me, rubbing, teasing, pinching my skin when and where I least expected it. She played my body like a fiddle. She didn’t even flinch when she found the scars. His control fractured at the memory. His fist pumped once, twice, and then a third time as his breathing became choppier. I can’t believe I actually stripped down to my scivvies for her. I didn’t even get the promise of mind-blowing sex but I still did it. The husky sound of her accented voice telling me I would be rewarded had me stripping down faster than any order shouted by Chief.

  His balls tightened at the memory of her fingernails scraping over his chest, tugging on the hair before trailing down his abs. He’d held his breath waiting - anticipating the first feel of her hand around his cock. A whimper escaped him. But she never touched me. She kept her word about not handling my equipment, even though I begged her to touch it. Instead she’d remained in control while I lost mine and not even as spectacularly as I did last night... The thought of last night pushed him over the edge. His hips pumped against his fist while he braced himself on the shower wall with his other arm. The water poured over him and his shout was loud even over the cascading water. “Son of a fucking bitch…gonna come….ah fuck…!” His cock swelled and he came, his spurts of seed striking the wall in front of him. He shook as pleasure, sharp and hard, raced through him. He continued to buck, loving the feel of the water stinging his body as he rode out his orgasm.

  When it was finally over, he trembled under the water, confused and disgusted with his body. He needed answers, but the woman who he knew could provide them had effectively kicked him out of her life. The words Carlos had said while treating his wrists echoed through his head.

  “I know your need to submit is confusing you, so if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” Carlos glanced up at him, his brown eyes sympathetic. “I’ve been there, Jude.” He put the finishing touches on Jude’s wrists. “I’m sorry but this is the last time I’m allowed to let you in. You’ve been banned from Olivia’s.”

  * * * *

  Pulling up in front of his downtown office, Jude exited his truck and trudged towards the front door. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon as he slid the key into the lock. His mind was still in turmoil over his response to his punishment. He desperately wanted – no needed - to talk to Olivia. But he was banned from her life because of his own stupidity. He cursed his temper once more. One of these days I’ll learn to control my fucking temper. Thank God Mistress Olivia knew how to handle me. I could’ve seriously hurt her if she hadn’t had me restrained.

  “Mr. Larson?”

  He damn near jumped out of his skin at the feminine voice. For a brief second, he’d hoped it was Olivia, but the accent was wrong. Instead of the Croatian one he longed to hear, it was a snappy Bronx accent. He spun around to find his new night security guard approaching him. Between her dark uniform and even darker skin, he hadn’t spotted her when he’d first arrived. Her long multi-hued braids were pulled back from her face in a high pony-tail. If he hadn’t been the one to hire her, he’d never have guessed she was nearing forty. She doesn’t look a day over twenty-five.

  When he’d found out she had an impressive military background but had given up her cushy job in the private security sector of upscale New York to follow her younger sister here, he’d hired her, despite her youthful appearance. Family was important to Jude. Now if only I could remember her damn name.

  “Good morning…” He searched his memory for her name. It started with an R, I think. Ruby, Reese, ahhh… “…Reba?”

  “It’s Rena.” She smiled up at him. “You were close, Boss. I’m getting ready to go off-duty but when I saw you, I figured I’d give you the nightly report. I usually give it to,” her nose wrinkled with distaste. “. . . Mr. Levough.”

  Jude wanted to give a chuckle at her tone and probably would’ve if he hadn’t been so distracted. For whatever reason, Rena and Jackson got along as well as oil and water.

  “Sure, no problem. Follow me.” He held open the door and motioned her to follow him into the inner offices. Deactivating the alarm, he entered his inner sanctuary. Even as he tossed his jacket over the coat tree in the corner, he scanned the room for any discrepancies. After assuring himself nothing was out of place, he finally turned to face the young woman standing behind him.

  With her clipboard in hand, she was patiently waiting for him. Her stillness but alert nature made him thankful he’d hired her. “All right, Rena, let me have it.” Clicking on the industrial-sized coffee maker in the corner, he leaned against the counter as he waited.

  “Sure thing, Boss. All in all it was a fairly quiet night. I did my hourly rounds at quarter after the hour. Other than a young woman by the name of…” She glanced down at the clipboard. “…Suzette Ralston, who approached the gate at zero three-thirty eight.” She flipped up the paper on her clipboard. “She left this envelope for you, with a request for you to call her.” Holding it out to him, she stepped closer.

  Surprised, Jude took it from her. “Damn, I haven’t heard from Suzette since…” he scratched his chin. “…it’s got to have been five, no six years.”

  “Seemed like a nice enough woman for a white girl, Boss, even if I thought it was a bit odd she showed up here so early. She was rather insistent about talking to you…” Her voice abruptly shut off when a pair of white arms wrapped themselves around her middle just under her impressive breasts. She stiffened but otherwise didn’t move a muscle.

  “Morning, Jude, surprised to see you in so early.” Jackson Levough leaned forward and nuzzled the side of Rena’s neck. Standing only a few inches taller than Rena, he had no problem nosing aside the dark red, brown, and gold braids to touch skin. “Hmm, but you, I was certainly expecting to see this morning. Imagine my surprise to find you in my partner’s office instead of mine. If I thought for a second you were avoiding me, cher, I’d be heart-broken.”

  “More than your heart is gonna be broken if you don’t get your paws off me, white-boy.” She shoved at his arms and wiggled.

  “Hmm, that’s it, rub that ass against me.” The low words had Rena screeching an
d Jude glanced up from the envelope in his hands. It didn’t take a genius to realize it was time to step in, before we end up with either a sexual harassment suit, or worse, Rena ends up hurting more than Jackson’s pride. Judging from the look on Rena’s face, the latter was probably the more likely outcome.

  “Jackson, let go of her before she kicks your ass,” Jude ordered. “Besides you need to look at this.” He held up the envelope.

  Jackson gave an exaggerated sigh. “We’ll have to finish this later, sweetheart. Duty calls.” He gave her neck one last nuzzle before stepping back.

  “Like hell we will. Touch me again, white-boy, and I’ll chop your damn hands off.” Rena turned and made a threatening move towards Jackson. Seeing the darkening of his partner’s eyes along with the change in his body language, Jude cursed. “Dammit.” He knew that look and stance well. It was even worse than Jackson’s overly sweet southern boy/Cajun charm. Rena had just unintentionally challenged Jackson’s inner Dom. Jude didn’t have to be an active member of the lifestyle to know what the outcome of this little confrontation would end up being. I gotta get her out of my office now! “Was there anything else, Rena?”

  She glared at Jackson once more before looking over her shoulder at Jude. “No, Boss. Other than that, everything else ran like clockwork.”

  Jude nodded. “Good. Then why don’t you clock off early with pay.” When Jackson looked like he was going to say something lewd about her leaving early, like her being able to party in his bed, Jude was quick to add, “My treat for having to deal with Suzette last night.”

  “Suzette stopped by?” Jackson’s normal molasses accent was gone. In its place was nothing more than the cold clipped tones he reserved for people who’d pissed him off. Or in this case, his very vindictive ex, Jude thought.

  “What does she want this time?” He stalked towards Jude’s desk.